It won't be like this for long

We've had a rough couple of weeks here. I'm not really sure what the deal is. It could be teeth. It could be a growth spurt. It could be solid food. It could me some new milestone that I'm unaware of. All that I know is that Heidi has been off. She's been crabby all day. She's always been on the starved-for-attention side, but this last week even when you're playing with her and holding her and making funny faces and signing silly songs she's still crabby! And the sleep. Or lack of, I guess. I put the "sleeps through the night" sticker on her calendar one week when she was like 3 months old and slept until 6 am like 5 nights in a row. What a mistake that was. She stopped sleeping through pretty quickly and started waking up one time a night, usually sometime between 2 and 4. But she'd take her bottle and go back to sleep. But then last weekend she started getting up 2 and 3 times a night. I know it's not terrible, but I'm so greedy about my sleep and I just do not function on less than 7 or 8 hours. Then this weekend she started waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning and refusing to go back to sleep. Laying in her crib and talking and shrieking (not crying or upset, but still loud so that we couldn't sleep). Yesterday at work I was a complete Zombie. Last night was better, back to up only one time, so we'll see. Until this stage passes I will just keep humming this song to myself and know that it won't be like this for long...

He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin' there in bed listen'n
To his newborn baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It's gonna be OK

It won't be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laugh'n
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
It won't be like this for long

Four years later about four thirty
She's crawling in there bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This will only last a week or two

It won't be like this for long
One day soon we'll drop her off
And she won't even know your gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won't be like this for long

One day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she up and cry'n
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers
He lays down there beside her
Till her eyes are finally closed
And just watch'n her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won't be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah this phase is gonna fly by
He's try'n to hold on
It wont be like this for long
It wont be like this for long
Darius Rucker

Heidi is 6 months old...mini timeline!

My baby girl is already a half a year old! These last 6 months have been the best of my life...and here's the reasons why:

Brand new, just a few hours old 1 month old:

2 months old:

3 months old:

4 months old:

5 months old:

This morning, 6 months old!

Happy half birthday, Heidi Jean Jelly Bean.

"Snow" Days!

Well, mommy was lucky enough to get two days off of work this week due to the extreme cold we've been having (see there is a benefit to it being -20 degrees F). It made me pretty nastolgic thinking of the days in September and October when Heidi and I got to just hang out all day every day and play together. I do love my job, but it pales compared to spending time with my baby girl.

Here's how we spent our day:

We played in the jungle for a bit

And we read the paper

Spent a lot of time smiling at each other

And doing our leg exercises


And basically made a mess of the place

It was a really fun day.

Little fishy meets big bathtub...

Well, Heidi loves baths and so we thought it would be fun to take her down to the hotel "waterpark" and see if she liked the pools. They were a little cool for her liking, but she was a good sport and didn't cry at all until mama leaned her back to try to get her hair wet (haha).

Here's some pics of the little fishy. We didn't have a swimsuit so she wore this adorable little sundress and a 20pound diaper ;)

I see a future olympic swimmer here...

Heidi hates hotels...

Well, similar to the last time that Josh and I stayed at a hotel with Heidi (which was when she was about a month old), Heidi decided to scream pretty much all night in the hotel room. She tends to get a little overstimulated with lots of people, and then refuse to eat, and then refuse to nap. So the little princess refused to nap from about noon until 8 pm when she finally exhausted herself and fell asleep for the night. Needless to say, mommy missed most of the wedding festivities and instead watched football in the hotel room while standing and bouncing her (should have brought the yoga ball along...).

In between crying jags, Heidi demonstrated some of her new moves...

Here she is playing peek-a-boo with mama:And demonstrating her mad-sitting-up skills:

And checking out her pretty feet:

She's lucky she's cute, makes it hard to be mad at her...

Today.

Today. Technically I was up at 2:30 with the wee one, but we'll say today actually started at 6:15 when we rose for the second time of the day. Heidi was in a fabulous mood this morning singing and talking on her monitor as if to say "oh Mooooommmmyy...I am aaawaaake! Come in and seeeee me!" It's nice not to wake up to screaming. Though I will say, I'm more likely to lay and listen to the talking for longer because it's just so darn sweet.

Let me just cherish that memory.

Because Lord, the rest of the day...granted we did get all bundled up around 10 to go run errands. But in my defense, she had already eaten once, taken an hour long nap, woke up still in a good mood, was offered food again and adamantly refused (yes, adamantly). I explained her options to her prior to being buckled in "if you don't eat now, then you have to wait at least 40 minutes until we get to Wal-Mart." She agreed to the terms. Until about 7 minutes down the road when we're in the bank drive-through (depositing money in her savings account none-the-less) and she begins her day long scream-athon. I had to pull over a couple of blocks down any way because the car window would not roll up (sidenote: is it still called "rolling up" when it's an automatic window?). So I pacified her with her pacifier, which lasted just long enough to shut the door and climb back in the front seat. I once again explained the agreement we had come to, she did not want to eat when we left the house; therefore, she had to wait until Wal-Mart--it's not like this was a surprise, we'd been over it before.

So, we get to Wal-Mart, she's looking kind of groggy in the backseat, which leads me to think that maybe she slept on the way, but the mirror was in the truck, so I couldn't see her, so it's only a guess. At any rate, we're at the Tire Lube Express because I have to get my tires rotated and an oil change. We roll into the store and she activates the new Heidi-shriek that she's been working on. It's kind of cute, so I don't mind it. She even does it at a slightly muted level so as not to be extremely irritating. This lasts only long enough for me to get to the baby formula aisle and discover that Wal-Mart is out of the Wal-Mart brand formula that we use. What the heck. Now I have to side trip to another Wal-Mart.

Meanwhile, the Heidi-shriek has turned into a Heidi cry and I decide to try to feed her again. I take her back to the little room where you wait for your car to be done and get the bottle out. The second she sees the bottle it's instant freak out. Not sure that I've ever met another baby that hates eating, but mine does. Manage to get her to take two drinks. Scream. Repeat. Finally, the tire lube lady says that my car is done. Normally it takes like 3 hours but this time it was only about 45 minutes. I think they felt bad for me with the screaming kid. Or they just wanted some peace and quiet.

Off we go to the second Wal-Mart of the day. To make a long story short, they don't have the Wal-Mart brand formula either so we have to settle for *gasp* the name-brand formula (yeah at $8 more a pop, I do kind of gasp). Needless-to-say, Heidi screamed in this Wal-Mart too. We did a quick diaper change, which didn't appease her at all. I assured her that when we got to our destination in 20 minutes she could be unbuckled and freed and we'd have warm milk.

If I was a smart mom I'd have just driven around for 2 hours because what she really needed was a nap, but I'm not smart, and I was hungry and meeting a friend for lunch, so 20 minutes later we disembarked at our 3rd stop of the day. I only knocked one chair over on my way to the table with her. And only an ounce or so of milk spilled all over my pant leg when I uncapped the bottle. And, hey, I did manage to eat my wrap while bouncing Heidi on my knee and retrieving her rings off of the floor time and time again. I won't mention how the feeding went other than that I'm pretty sure she could have sucked on my pant leg and gotten just as much milk.

Off to my haircut. Thank goodness Em came with to watch her since she gladly screamed and shrieked for the entire 45 minutes of the haircut. I take that back, she did do some undecorating for a minute or so which occupied her attention.

And I still had to stop and get dog food. But at least the windshield washer fluid was just frozen, not empty. That saved me a stop.

Got home, and Josh got home a few minutes later. Fast forward 5 minutes. Josh says something about her crying. My response: You've been listening to her for 5 minutes, I've been listening to it all day.

This is my life. She's lucky she's cute.

My 2009 Non-Resolutions

Resolutions have such a tone of failure attached to them, so much so that I've never been one to set them. But for 2009, I have some general things I'd like to work on, to do better, to finally accomplish. And so, in no particular order, I bring you my 2009 non-resolutions.

• Be more disciplined with spending. I'm dying to get a new car, but in order to do that, I have to pay off Josh's truck first, and in order to do that, I have to be more disciplined with my spending. We do fine with paying the bills and still having fun money left over, but I know if I decreased some of the mindless spending, I'd be on the road to a new vehicle in no time. I'm also going to need a new laptop some time this year, so it'd be nice to have the money to pay for that without charging it. Oh yeah, and get that last credit card paid off--I'm almost there!
• Be more disciplined with eating. I really go in spurts with this. I was doing really well last year until pregnancy and the three months of all day nausea. I'm not dieting, or anything like that, I just want to cut back on the fast food (ick) and concentrate on eating more veggies at home. I love to cook, so it really isn't a chore, but sometimes it's just hard to find time in the day and so much faster to throw a frozen pizza in and call it a meal. I'm also going to refocus on portion sizes and eating slower. Lately I've been feeling like a giant pig which really isn't like me.
• Cut back on the Mountain Dew. Lord knows I'll probably never quit, unless I really had a good reason to. But I find it hypocritical for me to criticize others for their vices while not attempting to modify my own. Granted, mine isn't probably going to kill me any time soon, but it is unneeded calories and cavities. Along with this, goes drinking more water. That's a given.
• Be more active! We all know that we feel better when we're more active. There aren't excuses, we can all find time. I've already docketed my time for it, and ordered a new fun tape (plus I have Wii Fit, holla). I can't wait for it to get warm so Heidi and I can get out and walk (or even jog in the jogging stroller)!
• Be the role model that I want to be. There are a lot of little things that I see other people doing that I think I could do and only be a better person for doing. I'd like to go to church more, swear less, never ever drink and drive, give to the less forunate, not be callously hurtful, complete random acts of kindness...

This isn't a final list, but this year more than ever, I see reasons for living the life that I've always wanted to live. I have a beautiful daughter who will be mimicking my actions before I know it. And I have an appreciation for life and the knowledge that it could be over at any time.

Here's to a great 2009!

2008 Recap...this should be fast

I had this whole long thing typed out when I realized that my 2008 can be summarized in 2 points, the best and worst things that have ever happened to me.

• First, the best: July 17, 2008 my daughter Heidi Jean Baker was born. Until she arrived, I had no idea that I could love another person this much. I couldn't have honestly said that I would die for anyone, until she was born. Now I know, for this little girl, for this fussy, beautiful, sassy, sweet, amazing little girl, I would walk through fire, take a bullet, whatever it takes. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Period.
• Second, the worst: August 28, 2008: my almost two-year old nephew, Keagen was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma. This began the new way-of-life for our family consisting of chemotherapy treatments for Keagen (usually followed by fevers and infections), lots of family time with Laura's other kiddos, and soliciting prayers from everyone we know. I can only hope that by the end of 2009, cancer is only a bad memory for us.